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Introvert paradise
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5 tips to start a conversation when you don’t know what to say

I’m an introvert.

And despite years of practice and working on my skills, I’m still completely awkward in social situations.

I’ve always been this way.

May always be.

I can only handle being around around people in small bursts. Not because I’m a jerk. I just get overwhelmed easily.

That said, there are a few tricks that work for me when I do want to talk to people.

Keep in mind, for the most part, other people want someone to come talk to them. You can tell when a person sincerely doesn’t want to have a conversation with you. You know, headphones on, face buried in a book or notebook, etc.

Remember, you don’t have to have the perfect sentence formulated to talk to someone or a group of people.

Here are 5 other things to keep in mind when you’re ready, willing and able to start a conversation.

#1 Start with an observation.

This one is geared towards talking to an individual more so than a group. If and when you notice something you like about a person, make a comment about it. Only do this if it’s sincere.

Don’t do this:

Do give genuine compliments. Most people love receiving them! This opens up the conversation and often leads to learning more about what the other person is interested in.

#2 If you notice an open group you’d like to join, wait for a break in the conversation and ask, “Mind if I join you?”

Make sure the group is open first. You can tell a group is open when the people are standing somewhat apart, members occasionally glance around the room, there are gaps in the conversation and members are talking about a general topic.

Once you’ve determined the group is open, wait for the break and ask the friendliest-looking member if you can join in. This will ensure your intentions are clear and you won’t have to interrupt and risk seeming rude.

#3 Know what’s most important to you before you decide to start or join a conversation with an individual or group.

What is your goal or objective in this situation? Do you want to just connect without any result in mind? Do you want to make a new friend?

When you become clear on your intention, you may find knowing what to say comes a lot easier and more naturally.

#4 Make peace with the worst that could happen.

Cope ahead by reminding yourself that even if this person or group of people flat out rejects you, you will remain in tact. It does not define you or your worth.

Decide ahead of time you won’t go into a story about how “no one likes you.” Remember not to mind read either. You have no idea why someone would reject you. It might have nothing to do with you. So, keep your head up. There will be plenty of opportunities in the future.

#5 Expect the best or something even better.

You won’t know how the conversation (or anything) will go until you try.

If this is brand new to you, yes, it’s going to be scary. Acknowledge your fear and remind yourself why you’re doing this. Maybe you’ve been wanting new friends or maybe you just want to feel more like you’re part of the world. Whatever your reason, this is a a skill and it takes practice and patience.

Let me know how it goes.

You’ve got this!