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7 Gifts I Give to Others and Our World

7 gifts

Day 17. Here are the topics:

1) How do your Gifts heal others and our World?

OR

2) How do you use your spiritual Gifts to change lives and make a difference?

Here are the 7 Gifts I Give to Others and Our World…

#1 The gift of awareness

Because I am so sensitive, I’ve had to hone my awareness. When I first got clean, I started working with my coach with whom I learned all the “stuff” I was carrying around. She helped me clear all that so I could be conscious and aware of energies of people and places, blocks within myself and others, planetary gobbledygook, etc. This awareness, along with the necessary boundaries (physical and energetic) allows me to see, feel, know and appreciate things that can be easily overlooked by the untrained eye.

How this helps others: When I’m talking to someone or am in a session with a client, my awareness/intuition is my guide. It helps me ask questions that get people to the root of the problem, know what cues to listen for, when to speak and when to listen.

#2 The gift of empathy

The gift that nearly killed me might just be my greatest gift to humanity. When I was younger, my empathy was so strong I couldn’t tell where others ended and I began. I had no clear energetic boundaries so I absorbed the weight of the world. Without knowing what was happening, I turned to drugs to numb me. But when I decided to stop I also decided to face everything. In doing so I learned to honor this gift because I remembered, in my darkest moments all I wanted was for someone to understand.

How this helps others: The teens I work with tell me all the time. “I feel so alone. I just want someone to understand.” Because I’ve learned when and where to use my empathic abilities, I can give these young people the gift of someone who truly understands. Not only because I’ve been there, but because they can feel, in the moments we’re talking, that I’m tapped into their feelings at a deep level.

#3 The gift of knowing

With awareness comes knowing. I don’t know how I know things, I just do. It still surprises my husband sometimes. A few days ago he said, “you know what I would have liked to have done for a couple of years?” Before he finished asking the question, I heard loud and clear, “peace corps.” He asked how I knew that. To which I replied, “I just did.” And it happens a lot. When you’re aware you just know.

How this helps others: It shows others what’s possible and what they are capable of. It helps me know which direction to take a session, how to handle a situation and guide my clients out of stuckness gracefully.

#4 The gift of listening

I’m not much of a talker, but people love talking to me. Which is great because I love to listen. And not just with my ears, but with my whole being. When I’m listening, I’m also feeling and radiating love and acceptance. When I’m listening, I can hear what someone is really saying, beyond what their words are conveying.

How this helps others: My clients and people in general feel safe talking to me. I can’t tell you how many times someone has said, “I’ve never told this to anyone before…” Because they know I will listen without judgment and offer genuine feedback, support and guidance.

#5 The gift of communication

I have a way with words. I have been in love with language since I was a young girl and know how to clearly articulate exactly what I mean – especially through writing. As a small child exposed to constant fighting I learned that the words we use and the place from which we speak can either separate us or connect us. So often when people speak, they are unaware of themselves and can therefore not be aware of others. I can recognize this in a heartbeat.

How this helps others: I can tell when someone is not in alignment with what they are saying. By first helping them identify their true feelings, I can then help them speak from a place of openness and authenticity rather than judgement and blame. This in turn allows the lines of conversation to be open and the heart of the issue to be easily addressed.

#6 The gift of feeling

What I mean by this is I help other people feel. Whenever I am with someone I make sure they know they have the right to feel what they feel. As someone who has struggled with BPD, I know the importance of acknowledging, honoring and truly feeling the feelings. When we deny our feelings, we add another layer on top of them and never get to experience the true feeling – which is the only way to move past it.

How this helps others: If you work with me – I will make you cry (in a good way). I will get you to feel whatever has been eating away at you. I can call BS like no other and get someone into the deep stuff they don’t want to feel, but must in order to make real and lasting changes.

#7 The gift of light

Because of all the energy work I have done in the last seven years and how much I have cleared out, I can transmit A LOT of healing energy. I can feel it running through me, energizing me and helping me create miracles and awakening others to what is possible.

How this helps others: The love and light I emanate supports not just my clients, but everyone I meet. With this light comes safety, serenity, peace and courage for others to be all of who they are.

Journaling prompts

Write down and answer the following:

  1. How can I turn my biggest challenges into my greatest gifts to the planet?
  2. How have I used these gifts today?
  3. How will I use them in the future?

I would love to hear from you. What do you feel your greatest gift to humanity is? Why? Leave me a comment!

Mutant and proud
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[Day 16] Mutant and Proud

Mutant and proud

See hefnatron.com for more incredible art by Blain Hefner.

It’s day 16 of the blog challenge. My topics to choose from are:

1) Favorite movie

OR

2) Favorite TV show

I love movies and comic books. Especially where the main character(s) must learn to accept they will never be “normal” and learn to embrace what the majority of people see as something negative.

I’m kind of obsessed with X-men for this reason.

My whole life I’ve felt like an outcast. I’ve see things that other people don’t. I feel EVERYTHING. And I feel guided to lead others who feel the same way and inspired to help two worlds co-exist.

I’m a mutant.

A lightworker who is fascinated with the darkness of the human psyche.

A hippie who loves playing video games.

Misanthropic one day.

Full of hope for humanity the next.

A loner, but never alone.

Mutant: an organism (usually otherwise human) who possesses a genetic trait called an X-gene that allows the mutant to naturally develop superhuman powers and abilities.

To the world, a freak of nature.

Born different.

Misunderstood.

Feared for being different.

“Mankind has always feared what it does not understand.” -Magneto.

What’s a mutie to do? When every person you meet and place you go tells you to conform. When all you hear is:

“Stop being so weird.”
“You shouldn’t feel that way.”
“Get a real job.”
“You can’t change the world.”
“You’re crazy.”

If it’s crazy to think all the fighting in the world is stupid, yes I’m crazy.
If it’s crazy to want to talk about dreams instead of the weather, yes I’m crazy.
If it’s crazy to believe I can make a difference without a college education (gasp!) then YES.

I am batsh*t crazy.

And for so long, I thought I had to apologize for it. I thought I had to hide it. I thought I had to deny it.

Screw that.

Mutant and proud.

Charles Xavier quotes

This is my favorite quote from the most recent X-Men movie. Future professor x goes back to talk to a previous version of himself – the one who had given up his gift because he had lost hope.

I feel this way often.

“Why should I even bother trying to help people who do the things they do?”
“Why would they listen to me?”
“I can’t watch the world do this to itself.”

This mutation called empathy, hypersensitivity, crazy – nearly killed me.

But I made a choice.

To stay on this planet. To be a leader. To help humankind evolve.

 

What’s your “mutation”? How do you embrace it when everything tells you to just “be normal”?

My story
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[Day 14] My Story

My story

Before I share a bit about how I came to do what I do and more importantly be who I am, I want to say this (it’s something I have to remind myself of often).

Your story matters.

And it is of equal importance to share your story in a way that feels good to you. If your intention in sharing your experiences is to get others to feel sorry for you, to make yourself sound better than other people or to sustain being a victim, look at that. Be honest with yourself and get crystal clear about your intentions.

I say this because the stories we tell ourselves become our reality. And if we continue to repeat the ones that make us feel negative emotion, we will continue to repeat the same things. Maybe not in the same way, but they will manifest in some form.

So, if you feel good when you’re telling it and if you know in your heart it will help other people, then share it.

End preach.

My intention in sharing my story is to help teens and parents alike know first and foremost, they are not alone. Secondly, that it doesn’t last forever. And third, because I know the route I went could have been a lot shorter had I known what I know now.

Legal disclaimer: The information provided below is not intended to replace the medical advice of a qualified health care professional or to be used as therapy. Carrie Leigh Sandoval assumes no responsibility for the results generated.

So when I was a teenager, I was a total mess. I was having panic attacks multiple times a day, using drugs, not eating and would hurt myself in any way I could – namely cutting myself with whatever I could find.

Why? Because it was the only thing that brought me relief, the only coping technique I had.

I felt alone, afraid and responsible for all the crap going on in my house. In a place where I felt so much and didn’t have a voice or a place to express my pain, cutting was the only way I could communicate how bad I was hurting and what the constant fighting and being put in the middle of it was doing to me.

I was hospitalized, medicated, saw numerous doctors, psychiatrists, therapists, you name it. And while I am grateful these things exist and they did temporarily stabilize me, I continued to repeat the same unhealthy habits and patterns – never fully healing or learning positive coping strategies.

Everywhere I went, these labels defined me. I felt insane. Broken. Like I needed to be fixed. But all I truly wanted was to feel like a human being.

To be seen. Heard. Loved and respected for being myself, not just when I was being who everyone else needed me to be.

There was a whole lot of pressure on me to be the perfect daughter so everyone else would be okay. But it wasn’t until I started to accept myself and take my healing into my own hands that everything began to change.

It took me years and years of struggle and self-study to understand that I wasn’t broken or insane. I was just a young girl having a normal response to really insane circumstances.

Committing to showing up for myself is something I have to practice every day, but I’ve now been sober for over 5 years, haven’t cut myself in close to 6 and am no longer taking prescription medications.

I have a beautiful family, a job I love, but most importantly I no longer feel like there is something inherently wrong with who I am.

Having a mentor who got me and didn’t try to fix me inspired me to do this work.

I can’t tell you how badly I wanted someone to just say, “Hey, you’re not crazy. You’re alright. Everything is going to be alright.”

I love that I now get to share this experience and understanding with other young people, especially the girls, who feel the same way I felt.

And I love being able to help parents stop blaming themselves because really it’s not their fault.

Knowing these experiences can help others unlock their courage, strength and power of choice, gives me hope (and puts a smile on my face).

We are all here for a reason and you never know who you might help or the impact you’ll have by sharing your story.

There’s a lot more to mine, but this is all I’m going to share today. Now I want to hear from you.

What story do you share that reminds you of how amazing you are? Or what story keeps you going when you’re feeling low and need to be inspired? Leave me a comment below.

Life lessons for teenagers
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[Day 12] 10 Things I Wish I’d Known as a Teenager

Life lessons for teenagers

I’ve had to learn a lot of things the hard way. Partly because I didn’t have any support and partly because I was too stubborn to ask for that support.

But had I known the following ten things then, I would have most certainly been happier, had more self-respect and felt confident enough to say no to the things that were hurting me.

These ten things are exactly what I teach and encourage the teens I work with to embrace through my coaching programs, so if at any time you’re feeling like you (teen or parent) are ready to take it a step further and get the support you need, you can go here to fill out the form for a free discovery session with me.

Now, the ten things.

#1 Getting other people to like me will never be a substitute for liking myself.

My primary motivating factor in my younger years was to get people to like me. I was able to feed off others’ love or infatuation for me, but the moment I was alone I would lose my mind. Had I known how to accept myself first rather than looking outside for validation, I would have been able to help myself. Instead, I gave other people the power to determine how I felt.

#2 My body is beautiful and sacred.

I did a lot of stupid things to my body because I didn’t really care about it. I thought I was fat and ugly and tried to numb myself in any way I could. Sex, drugs, cutting and starving myself were my (very ineffective) ways of dealing with pain. Had I known my body was sacred, I would have cared more about how I treated it and how others did too.

#3 It’s okay to be angry, just make sure I know what I’m really angry about.

I was incredibly bitter and pissed off as a teen. It was my normal state. And while I had every right to be, I also took it out on myself and other people who crossed my path. I thought I was mad because of what other people did, but I was mad that I didn’t know who I was or how to express what I was feeling. I was mad because I was disconnected from my true self. Had I known how to connect with the real me, I’d have been able to process my emotions instead of adding another layer of “I shouldn’t feel this way” on top of the challenging emotions I was already experiencing.

#4 I have the right to feel everything I feel.

I thought I was just supposed to be happy. I thought I had to be happy so everyone else would be happy. No one validated my feelings so I learned to invalidate my own (classic borderline personality disorder). I was sad and pissed off, but because no one else thought I should feel that way I denied it and my behaviors became the only means of expressing my pain. Had I known I had the right to feel what I felt, I would have made better choices because they would have come from me and not my unexpressed pain.

#5 I’m not responsible for how other people feel.

Manipulation and guilt trips were used frequently in my home. I felt like because of me my parents were fighting, because of me my mom had to work her butt off after the divorce, I thought because of me everything was screwed up. With no one to tell me otherwise, I truly believed that I had to change to fit everyone else’s needs. Had I known I wasn’t responsible for how other people felt, I would have stopped carrying all the burden of other peoples feelings and been free to be more of who I was.

#6 I’m not the only one with problems.

With all this burden and thinking everything was my fault, I had convinced myself that I was the only crazy person. I would isolate myself from other people because I felt like a disease. I felt as if somehow being around me would ruin someone’s life. Had I known I wasn’t the only person with problems, I would have stopped trying so hard to fit in and embraced (and therefor accepted) myself and others more.

#7 The world does not revolve around me.

Because I was so isolated I started to become self-obsessed. My ego, in an effort to protect me, convinced me I was better than everyone else. I walked around like I was so cool, but felt like I was dying on the inside. I didn’t realize or understand how much others around me were struggling too. Instead, I made sure everyone knew how bad I was feeling. Had I known the world didn’t revolve around me I would have been much nicer to the people around me.

#8 My worth does not depend on anything outside of me.

With my inflated ego running the show, and no connection to my true self, everything became about what I wore, the kinds of cigarettes I smoked, the bands I listened to. I was constantly trying to prove my worth to other people – especially my peers. Had I known my worth didn’t depend on anything outside of me I would have never given up on the things that mattered to me. I would have been able to hear what my soul really wanted.

#9 Friends don’t make friends do drugs.

As you may know, I struggled with addiction. I thought doing drugs with people made them my friends. Not true. We were never friends. We were just lost teenagers trying to feel like we weren’t so alone. Had I known friends don’t make friends do drugs, I would have chosen better friends and not taken such a long time to overcome my addictions.

#10 I deserve to be happy.

During my teen years it never occurred to me that happiness was an option. Real happiness. I could chase the next guy, have adventures and be reckless to simulate happy feelings, but I was never really satisfied. Had I known I deserved to be happy, I would have stopped waiting for something to change to be happy. I would have set myself free.

As you can see, what we believe impacts how we show up in the world, the choices we make, the actions we take. All the things we have ever done are because of what we were believing about ourselves and the nature of the world. The good news is, with practice and support we can rewire our brains, change our beliefs and begin to have a say about what we will and won’t allow into our experience.

We have a choice in every moment.

What will you choose?

If you’re an adult, what are some things you wish you’d have known as a teenager? And kids, if a future version of yourself came to visit you today, what would he or she say? Leave me a comment below.