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Adolescence and individuality
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[Day 4] My Unique Awesomeness

Adolescence and individuality

Today is Day 4 of the blog challenge. Still haven’t signed up? Go here and then come back to read this.

Here are the two topics I have to choose from:

1) What is the greatest thing you’ve accomplished in life so far?

OR

2) What are you grateful for? What are the Top 10 things that make your heart sing?

Because I already wrote a post very similar to the number two topic (check it out here), I’m going to challenge myself to write about my accomplishments.

I’ll have to admit, I had to do this at a seminar once (face to face with someone I had to talk about how great I am) and I almost barfed.

I remember being so concerned with how I sounded, how the other person would interpret it, if my accomplishments were even good enough

My thought process was something like this:

What if I sound like I’m full of myself?
What if I offend her?
What if it’s not what she wants to hear?
Does any of this matter?
Am I really great?

From a very young age I was extremely competitive. I had to be the best or I was nothing. I’m not exaggerating. So the fact that I’m here writing and out in the world being seen and heard is a huge accomplishment.

I have so many filters. My 10,000 simultaneous thoughts travel through my fears and beliefs about what I should say and who I should be and all that’s left is a smile or a blank stare.

No people, I’m not shy. I just think too much.

I spend a tremendous amount of energy trying to say the “right” thing.
To do the “right” thing.
To make everyone else happy.

Again, something I learned at a young age.

For survival.
For self-preservation.
Because if I wasn’t that girl, it would cause another fight.
And I didn’t want to be in the middle of it – again.

So I learned to carefully plan every word or keep my mouth shut.

That was then and this is now and I have to remind myself of that often.

I have to remind myself that:

  • It’s okay to be wrong.
  • It’s okay to make mistakes.
  • I’m not responsible for how other people feel.
  • I’m allowed to cry.
  • I’m allowed to feel.
  • I’m allowed to speak.
  • I’m allowed to be quiet.
  • I’m allowed to be me (even if “me” changes her mind constantly).

Every single thing about me is okay.

Knowing this, believing this, feeling this, becoming this…

Is my greatest accomplishment.

Giving birth to an incredible human being who is growing up to be kind, generous, loving, sensitive, in tune and absolutely brilliant would have to be my second.

Not how many gold medals I received as a gymnast
Not how many people are subscribed to my list
Not how many friends I have
Not the car I drive
Not how much money I have
Not all the blog posts I’ve written
Not all the books I’ve published
Not all the certifications

You get the point.

Because none of those mean anything if I can’t accept who I am without the accomplishments.

I don’t need anyone to tell me my worth.

And neither do you.

 

What makes you uniquely awesome? How will you celebrate your individuality today? Leave me a comment below.