Saying them, writing them, contemplating language itself. I wanted to be a linguist. Anthropological linguistics was one of my most interesting college courses.
I’ve been interested in so many things over the years which has made me very knowledgable and interesting to talk to but rather intolerable at times due to a sort of need to know everything.
I suppose what I’m getting at is that the uncertainty or rather lack of specificity of my “future” has the potential to create and recreate an uneasy feeling that I often perpetuate by deliberately thinking about it! Whew!
All these days of minimal adult interaction cause me to think and think and think and then of course if my thoughts are vibrating at a particular frequency of worry and doubt my body will say hey! this is familiar! yay! Well creating a new dialogue winds up making me feel bipolar and the repetition is enough to drive a Gemini insane!
Only to realize that this whole fiasco is only mind made and my higher self, god self, spaghetti self is sitting inside a dark room which is my body going “hm, wonder when this broad is going to wake up” and then lovingly and ever so gently tapping me on the shoulder because that’s the trigger that must be pulled in order to remember.