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Truth #1 – Changing Plans

change of plans

As a perfectionist with OCD and a myriad of other diagnoses, I have trouble adjusting to change. I often feel that if I have to change the plan, I’ve failed. This thinking leaves no room for understanding and is the exact type of black and white thinking characteristic of borderline personality disorder.

As with all unhealthy thinking styles, it is a trap. But, there’s hope (always). With practice, you can begin to re-pattern your thoughts to benefit you rather than destroy you.

Here is a full list of unhealthy thinking types that screw with us.

Please note: I do not own the rights to this worksheet. I simply took a photograph of it to share with you. There is no author on the copy that was provided to me.

As I said above, the first step to changing anything is awareness. You have to be able to recognize what’s happening and be willing to question the validity of your thoughts. Because they will lie to you. They will blow things out of proportion. It’s going to happen. Make peace with that.

Step two is to accept the thought – not as the truth, but that it is present. It’s there. And it’s not going anywhere until you acknowledge it. So the inner dialogue might be something like: “Wow I’m feeling really bad I wonder what I’m thinking (feelings will always let you know you’re thinking a thought that argues with reality).” Instead of blaming yourself or someone else, just notice the thought, see it for what it is. And then…

Investigate. Is it true? For example, if you realize you’re thinking “everyone hates me.” Is it really true? Can you absolutely know that it’s true? Probably not. Remind yourself that even if it were true, you can choose to love and accept yourself anyway. Besides, what other people think of you is none of your business (I think Wayne Dyer said that).

Final step: forgive yourself. It happens. And you’re going to get better at recognizing and redirecting your thoughts as you practice doing so.

It takes courage, it takes love and a great deal of faith. But you can do it.

I believe in you. 🙂

Aside: I find it ironic that this post was going to be about change and completely changed into something else. Here’s to being flexible! I’d love to hear how this post impacted you. Please do leave me your comments below. Thanks!

I’ll leave you with a video I made the other day that fits nicely with this post. Be sure to watch it all the way to the end to see my son make his cameo.

I also just found a more thorough list of negative thinking habits and possible solutions here.

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