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[Day 9] Full Moon Confessions

Full moon confessions

Found this image on mysticalavalon.com

Today is Day 9 of the blog challenge. Interested in joining? Go here.

My topics to choose from are:

1) Do you follow the moon and its cycles? Do you use its energy or have any special rituals, prayers, or events to mark the Full Moon?

OR

2) Tell us about any rituals or special events that you use to add meaning to your life.

Quote of the day from Mystic Mamma. To view the whole post, go here.

We are here to find our True North. Not magnetic north where we navigating according to others magnetic pull, reacting, pleasing and appeasing.

Our Truth North is aligning with our center and our most authentic Self. In honoring our Self, we will have to define our own path as well as our own boundaries. This is the path to Freedom. Choose You, your soul will thank you!

Disclaimer: I was not expecting this post to go in the direction it did. But, in the spirit of honesty, fearlessness and self-acceptance, I have decided to share it with you. I am asking that you please only share your comments if they are helpful and encouraging. Thank you!

For years, I was very much into the moon and it’s cycles. I performed rituals, participated in drum circles and attended meditations and events to celebrate the beloved moon. My nickname was even C Moonlight.

But in the past 5 years I have been so consumed by marriage, my son, my business and quite honestly trying to survive that I’ve somewhat lost touch with that part of me.

Prior to those five years, I hosted energy circles, did reiki, past life regression work, crystal therapy, all of it. I’ve worked with a shaman for years and am certified to be able to do angel card readings, mediumship and a slew of other things.

I am an unbelievably gifted and talented intuitive and channel, but I hardly ever talk about it or use it.

Why?

    1. I’m terrified. I’ll own that. I have this fear of being called a fraud, of hurting people and of people hurting me. I’ve had flashes of being burned at the stake, drowned, etc. Nonetheless, it’s not stopping me from writing this post so it doesn’t nearly have the power it used to.
    2. I’ve been diagnosed with mental illness so I question all the time whether it’s just me being crazy or if it’s a legitimate thing I’m seeing/feeling. Practicing awareness and self- reflection has helped tremendously with this and also the fact that I’m usually right about things.
    3. I feel like a lot of the time with readings people expect me to give them the answers or do the work for them. I prefer coaching because it forces them to look within. Although, I do love getting readings from time to time and many incorporate coaching into their readings for an incredibly empowering experience.

But…

We don't have to be afraid anymore

Despite these three things, I still pray all the time, I still invite my angels and guides in whenever I have a client (theirs too), meditate daily and know, without looking, what phase the moon is in. I knew when I woke up this morning a full moon was happening soon because I could feel it.

I could feel the purging and releasing already beginning.

Full moon = releasing
New moon = manifesting

So when I think about it, ritual and ceremony are still a very big part of my life. They are just not the whole story.

Because when I was completely consumed by it, I was denying my past and losing parts of myself that still very much had something to say. So the past few years have been dedicated to balancing those extremes.

Otherwise, all the things I’ve experienced in this life were for nothing.

I’m not ashamed to say I associate myself with both academic, all in their head people and totally “out there” talking to dead people, light working people.

Because they (we) all have one thing in common.

We’re human.

Part of me feels like I’m the bridge. Like it’s my duty to bring seemingly opposite and contradictory ideas into one. Because they’re not all that different.

My biggest motivating factor in not openly sharing about all this (until now) is:

I want to teach young people how to use their intuitive gifts, but I don’t want it to cover up the real issues.

I feel like my job is more to help people sort out all their human stuff before we even begin talking about the spiritual stuff.

Because no matter how spiritual we are, we’re still human.

And going there could be potentially damaging to a person (especially a young person) who is not ready. I’ve seen it too many times so I’m very cautious and conscious about what I’m sharing and with who.

I will say this:

  • Share your truth even if it’s no one else’s.
  • Trust yourself – always.
  • Practice what feels good to you.
  • Allow others to practice what feels good to them.
  • Don’t be afraid of being wrong.
  • Don’t be afraid of being right.

Tweet: You have the right to be the total expression of who you are – not some watered down version of yesteryou.

So, how did this post impact you? In what areas of your life do you allow yourself to be the real you? In what areas do you feel you have to hide parts of who you are? Leave me a comment below.

6 replies
  1. Joy Andreasen says:

    well said! As a psychic medium, I occasionally run into those who just want the stars or the moon to tell them what to do. I don’t think Spirit will do that for us. Spirit gives us a range of options and usually there is in there a lesson to be learned or some action on our part. Thanks for your openness in sharing yourself and your honesty.

    Reply
  2. Kama says:

    Well said again. I can relate to this post. It is ok to show different parts of who we are at different times. I realised a while back in my business that what I love spiritually is what I love, and not what I do. I now feel more relaxed doing what I do well in business, and learning for fun in my personal life. Of course the two intertwine in various topics but they don’t always have to. It is very freeing. Thank you for this lovely post.

    Reply
  3. Penny Butler says:

    Hiya Carrie, Very nice to read true thoughts.

    I find it hard to find many blog posts or articles that I can resonate with since I’ve been on the ‘journey’, and it’s great when I find one like yours 🙂 because I totally can relate to thinking that maybe “my” audience might not agree with me and it’s a bit scary to press publish sometimes when you think that your idea might not resonate or be mis-understood, etc.

    But, I found that the more I publicly spoke my own truth, the more I learnt about myself – what is going on in my ‘deep core’ part, and it’s shaping up to help me realize what my calling is as well. When you keep those things suppressed, it doesn’t change our neural pathways – nothing changes, you’re on auto-pilot / conditioned, and I’m finding, just from personal experience, that the more I speak out about my inner-instincts, the more I expand and grow.

    If I look at myself through my own blog about say.. 500 posts ago – that was a different person, one that still had much to learn. Each time I speak ‘my’ truth as it is in the ‘now’ – in this moment, the next piece is revealed. I might not even agree with some of my posts as I grow but I wouldn’t of grown without it; or I would’nt of had the realization of the suppressed inner thoughts to investigate further into why I think a certain way at a certain time. Sometimes the process of just writing it out & pressing publish, was all I needed to move on from that thought-process.

    I don’t like reading posts anymore that don’t speak from the heart, that don’t speak the truth; it’s that sharing of what is within that connects us all, not in the sharing of what we ‘think’ society or what we think our tribe ‘wants’ to hear. The things that are really going on, within our core and behind the curtain of the brainwashing / conditioning / auto-thoughts & auto-habits is what breaks us all free.

    Thank you for sharing your truth and for encouraging others to do the same 🙂

    Love Penny

    Reply
    • Carrie Leigh Sandoval says:

      Thank you so much Penny. For sharing this. For being bold. For listening to your heart and sharing what’s true for you so vulnerably. I couldn’t agree with you more. And you’re right about “Sometimes the process of just writing it out; pressing publish, was all I needed to move on from that thought-process.” There is something so freeing about the process – much more so than just writing it for myself. Thank you again!

      Reply

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