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[Day 4] My Unique Awesomeness

Adolescence and individuality

Today is Day 4 of the blog challenge. Still haven’t signed up? Go here and then come back to read this.

Here are the two topics I have to choose from:

1) What is the greatest thing you’ve accomplished in life so far?

OR

2) What are you grateful for? What are the Top 10 things that make your heart sing?

Because I already wrote a post very similar to the number two topic (check it out here), I’m going to challenge myself to write about my accomplishments.

I’ll have to admit, I had to do this at a seminar once (face to face with someone I had to talk about how great I am) and I almost barfed.

I remember being so concerned with how I sounded, how the other person would interpret it, if my accomplishments were even good enough

My thought process was something like this:

What if I sound like I’m full of myself?
What if I offend her?
What if it’s not what she wants to hear?
Does any of this matter?
Am I really great?

From a very young age I was extremely competitive. I had to be the best or I was nothing. I’m not exaggerating. So the fact that I’m here writing and out in the world being seen and heard is a huge accomplishment.

I have so many filters. My 10,000 simultaneous thoughts travel through my fears and beliefs about what I should say and who I should be and all that’s left is a smile or a blank stare.

No people, I’m not shy. I just think too much.

I spend a tremendous amount of energy trying to say the “right” thing.
To do the “right” thing.
To make everyone else happy.

Again, something I learned at a young age.

For survival.
For self-preservation.
Because if I wasn’t that girl, it would cause another fight.
And I didn’t want to be in the middle of it – again.

So I learned to carefully plan every word or keep my mouth shut.

That was then and this is now and I have to remind myself of that often.

I have to remind myself that:

  • It’s okay to be wrong.
  • It’s okay to make mistakes.
  • I’m not responsible for how other people feel.
  • I’m allowed to cry.
  • I’m allowed to feel.
  • I’m allowed to speak.
  • I’m allowed to be quiet.
  • I’m allowed to be me (even if “me” changes her mind constantly).

Every single thing about me is okay.

Knowing this, believing this, feeling this, becoming this…

Is my greatest accomplishment.

Giving birth to an incredible human being who is growing up to be kind, generous, loving, sensitive, in tune and absolutely brilliant would have to be my second.

Not how many gold medals I received as a gymnast
Not how many people are subscribed to my list
Not how many friends I have
Not the car I drive
Not how much money I have
Not all the blog posts I’ve written
Not all the books I’ve published
Not all the certifications

You get the point.

Because none of those mean anything if I can’t accept who I am without the accomplishments.

I don’t need anyone to tell me my worth.

And neither do you.

 

What makes you uniquely awesome? How will you celebrate your individuality today? Leave me a comment below.

19 replies
  1. Leanne Chesser says:

    Yes, yes, yes!! I love this post. I love that this is your greatest accomplishment. And I love how you write. I can completely relate to this post. It’s very much like my own experience . . . and MY own greatest accomplishment :). Mine also is coming to know, love and express who I am. I have to say that I stopped reading for a second, my mouth dropped open, and I also giggled a little when I read your words about your 10,000 thoughts because that was me, too. I could easily have written the same thing. SO similar.

    Reply
  2. Andrea says:

    Brilliant! I can remember when I was younger being consumed with judgements and fears around what other people thought of me. It caused a lot of stress and distress at the time. Now I couldn’t give two hoots! You hit the nail on the head, that we have to completely love and accept ourselves exactly how we already are, deep inside, without any of these external achievements to define us. That’s the key to happiness, life and the holy grail. Today, I’m going to celebrate my unique awesomeness by embracing my woo-woo side without worrying what anyone else thinks. Great post. Cheers. Andrea

    Reply
  3. Kama says:

    I love this! So beautifully expressed. It is only in recent years I have accepted me for who I am. For many years I took life much too seriously. I was an over thinker so I can totally relate to the before part of your post. Now I am aiming to live an ‘Almost Stress free’ life and that means being happy with who I am.

    Reply
  4. Shannon says:

    Wow! That was awesome I didn’t pick that topic because I was doing in my head what you did before your seminar. What a beautiful thing to learn and to pass on!!!

    Reply
  5. joy phillips says:

    Oh how I love this post!! It totally resonates with me and I love your writing style. I would have to say my greatest accomplishment is raising to boys as a single parent and watching them become the kind, responsible young men that they have become. 😉 Thank you for a beautiful post!

    Reply
  6. Kelly St. Claire says:

    I really need to find a way to celebrate me today. Having had a hard day, I am king to celebrate my individuality by allowing myself to rest even though they need me. On Wednesday I get a new do!

    Great post, btw, I am an overthinker, perfectionist and competitive and I’m learning how to turn the “faults” into superpowers that make me unique.

    Reply
    • Carrie Leigh Sandoval says:

      I hope you’re feeling better Kelly. New do’s always make me feel better! I believe our biggest challenges are our greatest gifts and I am so happy to see you are working to see things this way. You are unique. And you are good enough.

      Reply
  7. Nicole Ortega | Intuitive Life Alchemist says:

    Thanks for bringing attention to this Carrie. What you just described is the pervasive culture of perfectionism that permeates the society we live in. The antidote, as my shero Brené Brown will tell you, is self-love. Perfectionism is coating of the fear of not being enough. “By being perfect, people won’t criticize me.” Loving yourself just as you are and creating a practice out of that is key.

    Reply
    • Carrie Leigh Sandoval says:

      Mmm, I love that Nicole. Sometimes it feels like little me thinks that if she can just do everything perfectly she will be loved. But I am learning to reparent her so she knows, so I know, I am love and nothing I say or do can ever change that. Thank you for stopping by and sharing your comment. I love the word “shero” by the way!

      Reply

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