If you’re a parent of a teenager, this is for you.

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Messy Ass Mess

When life gets messy, clean it up.

Duh, I know.

Hear me out for a sec though.

I clean up about 54638374 messes a day because I have a toddler who loves to make messes. He doesn’t think about the fact that he’ll have to clean it up.

He just stirs shit up. 

Some days I don’t feel like cleaning. Today though, I wasn’t giving any thought to it or putting any energy into it. I just picked up the toys and I was done.

Then I had the thought, “when life gets messy, clean it up.”

So many times I’ve focused on the “here we go again” of the process of picking up the pieces.

And so many times that has been counterproductive.

Counterproductive, yes.

But, easily resolved.

Life isn’t perfect.

I’m not perfect.

That’s nothing to get mad about.

I can get mad briefly if it’ll make me feel better, but when I focus on the improvement, or the fact that I didn’t stay angry quite as long or the fact that today was just a little easier than the day prior, I’m putting a welcome mat out, inviting more things into my life that are just a little better.

You know what you have to do. Don’t let what you haven’t done stop you. The moment you realize you’re beating the shit out of yourself, stop that shit.That made me chuckle.

Be a super hero.

Come to your own damn rescue.



And remember:

You are still lovable when…

You stumble over your words

When you don’t know what to say

When you don’t say anything at all

When you’re frustrated

When you’re angry

When no one is looking

When everyone is looking

When you’re being judged

When you’re judging yourself

When you feel hopeless


You are still lovable

When you don’t see it

When you can’t feel it

When there isn’t anyone there to remind you



Freedom quotes
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I Define Me


I’ve decided to begin sharing affirmations that come to me/have been effective for me and others that I’ve worked with. So here is the first one. May it uplift you and remind you of what you already know.

It is not my job to internalize others’ pain or beliefs as my own. I define me. Letting someone tear me down so that they don’t have to feel is not helping me or the other person. I am not a punching bag. I am not perfect. I AM FREE TO FEEL.

I love you. You can do this.
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If You’re Having a Panic Attack, Read This:

This is an excerpt from Journals Have Feelings Too that I wanted to share:

You are having a panic attack right now and that is okay. You have these thoughts right now and it is okay. Your only job RIGHT NOW is to be present. Whatever is going on can be resolved at a later time. You do not have to know everything or resolve every problem all at once. That is impossible. This will not last forever. See these words. There is nothing wrong with you. No one is judging you right now. You can come back. You can do this.

Albert Camus quotes
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I’ve always liked words.

Saying them, writing them, contemplating language itself. I wanted to be a linguist. Anthropological linguistics was one of my most interesting college courses.

I’ve been interested in so many things over the years which has made me very knowledgable and interesting to talk to but rather intolerable at times due to a sort of need to know everything.

I suppose what I’m getting at is that the uncertainty or rather lack of specificity of my “future” has the potential to create and recreate an uneasy feeling that I often perpetuate by deliberately thinking about it! Whew!

All these days of minimal adult interaction cause me to think and think and think and then of course if my thoughts are vibrating at a particular frequency of worry and doubt my body will say hey! this is familiar! yay! Well creating a new dialogue winds up making me feel bipolar and the repetition is enough to drive a Gemini insane!

Only to realize that this whole fiasco is only mind made and my higher self, god self, spaghetti self is sitting inside a dark room which is my body going “hm, wonder when this broad is going to wake up” and then lovingly and ever so gently tapping me on the shoulder because that’s the trigger that must be pulled in order to remember.

Love is the absence of judgment
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My most important job is to love myself no matter what, to accept that I make mistakes and to carry on. A happy mommy will automatically create a happy baby. Dwelling, worrying and obsessing do not change anything. I will remind myself of this as often as necessary. I am happy.

Take some deep breaths. Everything is alright. No need to play the same story, no need to make excuses, no need to justify. What’s done is done. I can’t change the past. If I need a moment, I’ll take a moment. I’ll have reactions, I’ll have thoughts. I’ll laugh at the irony of how uncharacteristic of me some of the thoughts I have are. I don’t have to panic. I don’t have to torture myself. I do have to accept myself. And also, not make assumptions about the future.

This is an opportunity for me to love myself and in doing so I am learning to love and forgive and even understand my parents, which is what I’ve been wanting for a long time. It seems as though, as children, we sacrifice and endure a lot for our parents’ learning. And yet, this is all part of some unspoken agreement.

I will thrive on purpose. Search for it until I find it and trust that my child knows that he is loved and nurtured and cared for. I want him to know that. And even though this (being a mother) is going nothing how I thought it would (idealistically), there is some inexplicable, honest and dare I say perfect element to all of it that I could have never conjured up. This piece cannot be accessed nor understood by the mind. It can only be discovered when not looking. It can only be stumbled upon in the most awkward and unpleasant moments.