self-acceptance art
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Self-Acceptance Art

A visual.
A reminder.
Perhaps exactly what you needed to see at this very moment.

self-acceptance art

Know yourself.
Love yourself.
BE yourself.

Everything else will fall into place.

Freedom quotes
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[Day 30] What I learned from (completing!) the 30 day challenge

Freedom quotes

Today is the 30th and final day of the blog challenge. I reached my goal of posting something every day for the entire 30 days.

My prompt for the day:

What impact did the 30 Day Magic Up Your Blog! Challenge have on you? What did you learn about yourself, blogging, and sharing? Would you recommend this challenge to others? What did you like? What would you like to see done differently?

Even if I had to wake up at 3 in the morning to make a post, I made the commitment to write something and share it every single day.

I learned (again):

  • When I focus on one task at a time, I can complete it fairly easily.
  • Resistance to change is natural for me (and pretty much everyone else), but it doesn’t mean I should stop doing it.
  • It also doesn’t mean I should push myself through something when I’m just not feeling it.

I realized I enjoy and want to start sharing more personal posts. This challenge reminded me of my deadjournal/diaryland/melodramatic days (all public online journaling sites) and how much I loved just writing my heart out (rather than “how-to” articles). Sometimes sharing my life, without bulleted points and perfect structure is exactly what someone needs to read. It’s kind of amazing when I think about it.

I would highly recommend this challenge to anyone who wants to:

  • Deepen their connection to themselves/their purpose.
  • Deepen their connection to other amazing peeps.
  • Help others through personal storytelling and sharing.
  • Get better at writing.
  • Learn how to write on a regular basis.
  • Drive traffic to their website.
  • Have fun!

The top ten things I am most grateful for:

  1. I feel like I honed my writing voice even more.
  2. I let some fears (of it not being perfect, of upsetting someone, of not “delivering enough value,” of sounding “full of myself” go).
  3. It helped me remember why I write – it always makes me feel better.
  4. It helped me see the light at the end of the tunnel.
  5. It helped me connect with incredible women.
  6. I feel blessed that these women took the time to stop by and read and comment on my posts and I enjoyed reading and commenting on theirs too.
  7. It helped me create some content I’m really proud of – I found myself saying “I’m a really good writer” and not just saying it but feeling it and owning it. In fact I realized, it’s the one thing I truly deeply love doing.
  8. The entire challenge was a huge act of self-love. I allowed myself to be open to what wished to be expressed through me and didn’t hold back. I asked for help. I knew it was what I needed to do and did it.
  9. I learned that posting the link to my post in a group brings people to my site much more effectively than simply posting to my facebook wall.
  10. My imperfections create potential for greater connections – in other words, I don’t have to wait until I’m feeling perfect and life is dandy to write something meaningful.

Also: I would love to participate in this challenge again 3 or 4 times a year. I loved it!

Special thank you to Amethyst Mahoney for creating and beautifully executing this challenge. And to all the women who participated. I’m looking forward to doing this again!

Comments? Share them below!

Eckhart tolle quotes
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[Day 25] Unfulfilled Dreams

Eckhart tolle quotes

It’s day 25 of the blog challenge. Here’s the message I received in my inbox from Amethyst Mahoney this morning:

Today’s topic is all about what kind of life you want to create for yourself. Many of us have unspoken dreams, desires that we haven’t quite defined yet. If you can’t point out what you want to the Universe, it has no way of providing it for you.

So take a few minutes and ask yourself:

1) If I did NOTHING different, what would my life be like in 10 years? Will I be happy with that?

2) What kinds of life would I really like to create? Who do I have to be and how do I need to show up in the World to vibrate at the level of my new Magical Life?

If I did nothing different, my life would be miserable. I crave change, I have big extravagant dreams yet to be fulfilled. I’ve been really mad at myself lately for not living the life I expected to be by now.

I’m really angry.

And rather than stuffing down the anger I’m giving it a voice. Because to suppress it would be to deny a part of myself. I seem to be stuck with this self-loathing, joy-sucking mindset that pervades my consciousness no matter how much eft I do, no matter how much I meditate, no matter how many risks I take or changes I make.

It’s still there. I can’t tell if I’m depressed or if I’m subconsciously choosing to feel this way to prove a point. I wish I knew.

I wish I felt worthy. All the time.

But truth is, I don’t. It’s something I have to work at every single day. And some days it’s exhausting and I just don’t want to do it anymore. Sometimes I feel like an absolute failure.

But then I write about it. Or I cry. Or I just breathe into it. And a part of me stops gripping so tightly to the past. Then she starts to hope again.

For a long time I avoided the feeling of rejection in any way I could. I relied on a steady diet of drugs and solitude to get me through my days. But ever since I quit drugs over 5 years ago and started my business over 2 years ago, I’ve been faced with rejection time and time again.

But I haven’t covered it up. This lifestyle (married life, motherhood and having my own business) has brought up more crap than I could have imagined. It has been more painful than I ever thought possible.

But I’m still here. Believing in the impossible.

Dreaming.

And making it happen.

When I think about it, that’s the freedom I’ve been seeking all along.

The freedom to say what I have to say.
To make mistakes.
To be me.

And only I can set myself free from the thoughts that bind me.

Unfulfilled dreams don’t mean I’ve failed as a human being. Maybe they were never my dreams. Or maybe it hasn’t been the right time.

Many of my dreams have come true. It’s my fault for not taking the time to acknowledge it. I’ve recently begun writing down my successes again so I’ve taken a step in the right direction.

The life I want to create is within reach. Tiny specks of change have already begun to sneak their way into my daily life. It’s up to me to choose to see them.

It’s up to me to appreciate the beauty in every moment, to find the essence of my desires in the most mundane moments, to know it might not look how I thought it would look. To stop fighting and surrender.

I know the universe won’t leave me hanging. It’s hard for me to remember that. I’m so accustomed to having to fight and struggle, I’m often not even aware I’m doing it.

I’m getting better.

Because I know the only way I can help anyone is to help myself.

So yes, there are many things in life I still want, but I know better than to focus on the lack of their presence. I know to focus on all the reasons why I deserve to have everything I want.

Then make them happen.

Or in my case, let them happen.

To be continued…

Now it’s your turn. If you did NOTHING different, what would your life be like in 10 years? Will you be happy with that? Leave me a comment below!

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7 Gifts I Give to Others and Our World

7 gifts

Day 17. Here are the topics:

1) How do your Gifts heal others and our World?

OR

2) How do you use your spiritual Gifts to change lives and make a difference?

Here are the 7 Gifts I Give to Others and Our World…

#1 The gift of awareness

Because I am so sensitive, I’ve had to hone my awareness. When I first got clean, I started working with my coach with whom I learned all the “stuff” I was carrying around. She helped me clear all that so I could be conscious and aware of energies of people and places, blocks within myself and others, planetary gobbledygook, etc. This awareness, along with the necessary boundaries (physical and energetic) allows me to see, feel, know and appreciate things that can be easily overlooked by the untrained eye.

How this helps others: When I’m talking to someone or am in a session with a client, my awareness/intuition is my guide. It helps me ask questions that get people to the root of the problem, know what cues to listen for, when to speak and when to listen.

#2 The gift of empathy

The gift that nearly killed me might just be my greatest gift to humanity. When I was younger, my empathy was so strong I couldn’t tell where others ended and I began. I had no clear energetic boundaries so I absorbed the weight of the world. Without knowing what was happening, I turned to drugs to numb me. But when I decided to stop I also decided to face everything. In doing so I learned to honor this gift because I remembered, in my darkest moments all I wanted was for someone to understand.

How this helps others: The teens I work with tell me all the time. “I feel so alone. I just want someone to understand.” Because I’ve learned when and where to use my empathic abilities, I can give these young people the gift of someone who truly understands. Not only because I’ve been there, but because they can feel, in the moments we’re talking, that I’m tapped into their feelings at a deep level.

#3 The gift of knowing

With awareness comes knowing. I don’t know how I know things, I just do. It still surprises my husband sometimes. A few days ago he said, “you know what I would have liked to have done for a couple of years?” Before he finished asking the question, I heard loud and clear, “peace corps.” He asked how I knew that. To which I replied, “I just did.” And it happens a lot. When you’re aware you just know.

How this helps others: It shows others what’s possible and what they are capable of. It helps me know which direction to take a session, how to handle a situation and guide my clients out of stuckness gracefully.

#4 The gift of listening

I’m not much of a talker, but people love talking to me. Which is great because I love to listen. And not just with my ears, but with my whole being. When I’m listening, I’m also feeling and radiating love and acceptance. When I’m listening, I can hear what someone is really saying, beyond what their words are conveying.

How this helps others: My clients and people in general feel safe talking to me. I can’t tell you how many times someone has said, “I’ve never told this to anyone before…” Because they know I will listen without judgment and offer genuine feedback, support and guidance.

#5 The gift of communication

I have a way with words. I have been in love with language since I was a young girl and know how to clearly articulate exactly what I mean – especially through writing. As a small child exposed to constant fighting I learned that the words we use and the place from which we speak can either separate us or connect us. So often when people speak, they are unaware of themselves and can therefore not be aware of others. I can recognize this in a heartbeat.

How this helps others: I can tell when someone is not in alignment with what they are saying. By first helping them identify their true feelings, I can then help them speak from a place of openness and authenticity rather than judgement and blame. This in turn allows the lines of conversation to be open and the heart of the issue to be easily addressed.

#6 The gift of feeling

What I mean by this is I help other people feel. Whenever I am with someone I make sure they know they have the right to feel what they feel. As someone who has struggled with BPD, I know the importance of acknowledging, honoring and truly feeling the feelings. When we deny our feelings, we add another layer on top of them and never get to experience the true feeling – which is the only way to move past it.

How this helps others: If you work with me – I will make you cry (in a good way). I will get you to feel whatever has been eating away at you. I can call BS like no other and get someone into the deep stuff they don’t want to feel, but must in order to make real and lasting changes.

#7 The gift of light

Because of all the energy work I have done in the last seven years and how much I have cleared out, I can transmit A LOT of healing energy. I can feel it running through me, energizing me and helping me create miracles and awakening others to what is possible.

How this helps others: The love and light I emanate supports not just my clients, but everyone I meet. With this light comes safety, serenity, peace and courage for others to be all of who they are.

Journaling prompts

Write down and answer the following:

  1. How can I turn my biggest challenges into my greatest gifts to the planet?
  2. How have I used these gifts today?
  3. How will I use them in the future?

I would love to hear from you. What do you feel your greatest gift to humanity is? Why? Leave me a comment!

Working for the man
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[Day 8] Lessons Learned Working for the Man

Working for the man

Today’s day 8 of the 30 day blog challenge. If you’ve got a blog and want to sign up, it’s not too late. Go here.

Quote of the day

“It is not death that a man should fear. Let him fear instead never beginning to live.” -Marcus Aurelius

Today’s topics:

1) Favorite Day Job you ever had

OR

2) Least favorite day job/funny story about working

My First Job
penelope

My sweet Penelope was the best part of working at the pet store!

Aside from babysitting jobs, the first job job I ever had was at a pet store. Honestly I wanted to be around people as little as possible (highly sensitive person/introvert) and felt working with animals would be a stress-reliever for me. It was.

Though it was still scary and I struggled to talk to people, I feel like it was a great first job experience. It taught me some important things about myself:

  • I am responsible and capable.
  • I care about what I do – whatever it is.
  • I have to be careful with this because I have the tendency to do others’ work for them.
  • I have the right to speak up and be treated with respect.

I ended up quitting this job shortly after I purchased weenie dog  because I felt like the owners were taking advantage of me (at 16 I didn’t yet understand that I was attracting this experience). It felt really good to quit because I knew in my heart I deserved better.

My All Time Favorite Job

My most favorite job ever was working at a raw food restaurant. I got to be in charge of opening the store in the morning, prepping food and running the front register.

The best part was the people (and the free food). It was woowoo paradise. Someone always had something to share with me (be it wisdom, jewelry, hand-writing analysis, healthy eating tips or just a smile) and I loved being able to share my knowledge with those new to the raw food lifestyle.

As I shared in this post, food is something that really helped me get sober, feel better and honor my body, so this place was perfect for me to practice a healthy lifestyle. Remember: one of the quickest ways to change something is to surround yourself with people who are doing or have already done what you want to do.

Tales of A Banquet Server

From the time I turned 21 until this day, I have been a part time banquet server. When I first got this job, I loved it, then I hated it and now I’m learning to love it again.

Negatives

  • If I allow it, it reminds me of how I’ve “failed.” Thoughts like “I shouldn’t still need this job” pop into my head often. I have to remind myself “it’s only temporary” and “I’m not my job.”
  • I feel like someone is constantly looking for and waiting for me to screw up. But, since other people are a reflection of me, I get to see how I do this to myself and from there can choose to do something different.
  • The uniform. I can’t stand not being able to wear what I want to wear. I kinda look and feel like a ventriloquist dummy. Which is funny and ironic because I think it’s a great metaphor for working for the man.

Positives

  • For as much as my co-workers complain, I seem to have a different experience. When I make the decision to have a good day, I do. The people who come and talk to me are nice, the people I serve are polite. My “assignment” is easy. Sometimes all I have to do is fold napkins.
  • It’s a great outlet for my perfectionism – I get to go all OCD when I’m setting tables.
  • I’ve sold some of my books to co-workers – and they found it really helpful!
  • I get to practice what I preach – it is a huge challenge to stay in my own energy/vibration when being there, but I get to remember that I always have a choice.
  • I get to work on my people skills, including truly showing up in service.
  • It keeps me humble.
  • The contrast allows me to clarify what I do want – with even more enthusiasm.

Insights

  • Life is what we make it.
  • I can let other people help me.
  • I’m a good leader/organizer.
  • I can work as part of a team.
  • There are positives in EVERYTHING.
  • This quote sums it up:

“You are not your job, you’re not how much money you have in the bank. You are not the car you drive. You’re not the contents of your wallet. You are not your f@#%ing khakis. You are the all singing, all dancing crap of the world.”

― Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

  • You can’t change anything by hating it.
  • You can’t love anything without loving yourself.

All in all, what I have learned is every challenge helps us develop something we didn’t know we had in us.

It helps us step up, activate our highest commitments and take that leap of faith.

Tips for Parents with Teens:
  1. When helping teens look for their first job,  keep in mind what type of personality they have – introvert/extrovert? Works better on own or working for someone else?
  2. Talk about money in a positive way – make sure they know money isn’t the end-all.
  3. Talk about your values – your teen may not have the same values as you, but make sure you discuss what you feel and why you feel that way and encourage your teen to do the same.

I would love to hear some J-O-B stories from you. What have you learned from working for the man and how are you using this to help you create more of what you do want? Leave me a comment below.

quit smoking meth
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[Video] How I Quit Smoking Meth, Drinking and Doing Other Stupid Things

quit smoking meth

From about the age of 12 until I was 22 I was either on a substance or desperately seeking something to numb my pain. Alcohol, pills, meth, coke – you name it, I did it.

I had periods of time where I would stop – the longest of which was from 18 to about 20. But my will wasn’t quite strong enough to say no when my boyfriend at the time bought us alcohol. After that day, I traveled slowly downward and hit rock bottom the day I nearly killed myself by smoking too much speed.

That was the day my body went numb and from the heavens a goddess (yes goddess) appeared telling me, “You have to stay.”

Great. So now what?

This week’s video will give you a glimpse into how I got sober and have stayed sober for over 5 years. 

Please enjoy the video, like it and share it with someone who needs it.

Below the video you’ll find the 5 keys covered in the vid so you can look at them while you watch and have them as a reference later.

#1 Decide to Stop
#2 STOP Hanging Out with People Who Don’t Want You to Get Better
#3 Find What Makes YOU Happy
#4 STOP Talking Badly About Yourself
#5 No Means No + Yes Means YES!

 

Leave me your questions or comments below. Or, if you’re interested in a free discovery session with me, go here.

Note: The book referenced in this video Behind the Mask: The Many Faces of Bullying was released today and will be on Amazon soon! I will update this post as soon as I have the correct link.

Affirmations for self-love
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Being grateful for who you are (affirmation)

It’s easy to love yourself and your life when things are going well.

But we tend to forget this when we aren’t being who we think we should be.

It’s so important to have love and compassion for ourselves in each moment, but especially in our darkest moments.

You are always lovable.

But that love has to start with you.

Affirmations for self-love

For more affirmations, go here.

self-worth in teenagers
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Helping kids connect to who they really are

In my last post, I mentioned “helping kids connect to who they really are” as an antidote for bullying.

I’d like to go a bit deeper into this today.

self-worth in teenagers

As adults who are interacting with young people, the best thing we can do is model healthy self-worth. When we are accepting ourselves, we interact with others from a place of love and empowerment. And when we demonstrate this to our kids, they get to see what healthy boundaries look like.

From a very young age we are taught to seek others’ approval and to always look outside for instruction and validation.

But what if we would have been taught early on to love ourselves first?

When we are in alignment, others can feel it and treat us differently. The following steps will not only allow you to connect to yourself, but you can use them to help others connect to themselves too.

1.Get in your body

We spend so much time in our head allowing our thoughts to dictate who we are. A belief is just a thought we think over and over again until we begin to accept it as truth. The more time you can spend in your body, the sooner you will be able to tell the difference between the you you’ve always thought you were and the you you really are.

The best and easiest remedy for getting into your body?

Breathe art

Imagine your breath filling every area of your body. Allow it to go all the way down into your feet until you feel a strong connection to the ground beneath you.

2.Notice, feel and express what you need to in order to feel better

We have a tendency to hold onto things because we are either in denial or feel we don’t have the right to feel what we feel. We’ve been told “you shouldn’t feel that way.” Truth is, you have every right to feel what you feel. Even if no one else has the same reaction or emotion come up in the same situation, you do. And it’s okay. Maybe you’re more sensitive. Maybe you’re just wired differently. Whatever the case, it’s alright. Just notice and be okay with whatever comes up.

Then, find a way to get it all out. Some suggestions:

  • Write
  • Walk
  • Do EFT (watch a quick into to EFT here)
  • Cry
  • Shake it out (like how puppies do after they’ve just had a bath)

The idea is to give yourself full permission to feel and express anything and everything you need to feel better.

3. Decide what kind of day you’d like to have

When you know what you want and focus on it with faith, your situation has to improve. You are a powerful creator and you create with your every thought. When you are in alignment and everything else is out of the way (or when you “get out of your own way”) anything is possible.

Imagine how you’d like your interactions with your friends and family to go. See yourself handling each situation with grace and ease as you know your own value and worth.

We so quickly and easily hand our power over to others, but we don’t have to.

You are powerful and you know exactly what you need to do.

When you know this and embody this, others will feel it. The people who are “bullying” you will leave you alone as if by magic.

What if all this was just to get you to see how amazing you are?

How has an unpleasant situation actually strengthened you as a person? Please share in the comments section below.
Affirmation for self acceptance
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Self love and acceptance [affirmation]

We are imperfect creatures.

When we set our expectations so high (our society doesn’t exactly help) and feel we will only love ourselves when

Dot dot dot

Fill in the blank.

We set ourselves up to feel like crap about who we are.

Over and over.

Today, rather than hiding your perceived flaws, embrace them.

Thank them for giving you the opportunity to aknowledge and appreciate yourself.

Then give this affirmation a try.

Affirmation for self acceptance

 

You are more beautiful than you even know and you don’t need anyone else to see it to know it.

For more affirmations, go here.

Journaling saved my life
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Journaling saved my life (includes journal writing prompts)

Journaling saved my life

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again.

Journaling saved my life.

When I couldn’t speak my truth, I wrote it.

I always had trouble talking. Some would call it being “shy.” Many thought I didn’t have anything to say.

But I did.

I was just so overwhelmed by my surroundings and my thoughts and emotions were so strong that my mind felt constantly bombarded.

My journal then became the place to process all this stuff going on.

When I was having panic attacks on the regular writing helped me get through it.

When my addictions got the best of me, I found my way back to myself by way of my journal.

How?

Because it allowed me to identify what was going on within and around me. Self-awareness is the key to changing anything about ourselves. If we don’t have a clue why we’re feeling the way we are, there isn’t any (healthy) way to release it.

Some people can talk to others, but because I was (and am) so sensitive I had trouble telling the difference between my own thoughts and feelings and those from the people around me. I had to process everything in solitude.

For a long time I thought there was something wrong with me, but I’m just an introvert.

Some might also call it being an empath.

Whatever you want to call it, it was unbearable during my younger years because I didn’t know how to manage it.

Which you would soon discover if you were to read any of the 20+ journals I have stacked in my closet.

But I digress…

The reason I’m sharing this with you is because I want to encourage you to find your “thing.”

You know, the thing that keeps you going.

The place you feel you can be unapologetically you.

Where you don’t have to censor your thoughts or your feelings or emotions. A place where you can say screw the filter, THIS IS WHAT I HAVE TO SAY.

We get so caught up in what other people think about us or what we believe others think of us that we lose pieces of ourselves.

This quote comes to mind:

“What other people think of me is none of my business.” -Wayne Dyer

But what you think of you is completely your business and it’s up to you to decide how you feel about yourself.

You have the right to feel how you feel.

More importantly, you have the right to be who you are.

It’s up to you to find the “you” you want to be.

Some questions to ask yourself:

When do I feel I am most myself?

How do I really feel about this situation vs. what I would say if someone asked me?

Where am I not being true to myself?

My favorite journaling people & their websites:

Nathan Ohren @ Write4Life

Mari McCarthy @ CreateWriteNow

Lynda Monk @ Creative Wellness Works

 

So tell me…

What’s your thing? Let’s get the conversation going!